How do you deal?

I used to watch TV with my mom and when we would see sad or inspirational stories she would always tear up. I never understood it. We didn't know these people and how could someone be so attached to a runner or a football player to tear up when they won the race or game? She would just laugh and tell me that some day I would understand the emotional expression. My mom is overly emotional bordering on kookybird so I just assumed her personality had been twisted in this way. I hate to say it but now in my own kookybird way, I understand it.

I figured it out when I heard that story on NPR where a woman's son was a normal active child then was diagnosed with Ecoli and in three days was dead; I understood and teared up for her. Those coal miners that died in West Virginia and China, I was engrossed in their story and felt genuine fear and grief for the families that were left behind. That gasoline platform that blew up in the Gulf...when I heard about the 11 men that were missing, my first instinct was that they were blown to bits in the explosion but when I heard the woman speaking about her missing husband I grieved, teared up and hoped that maybe he would be found.

Once your life is changed in an instant, it is a gut reaction to feel something for other people who have had this experience. On May 11, 2009 my family and I were skipping merrily down the lane dealing with everything life had to give us and trying to embrace each day but once the calendar turned a couple pages we reached a hairpin turn. Now when I'm faced with these personal tragedies I have some experience on how to deal with them whether I want to or not. I'm waiting for the day when L. laughs at me for tearing up at a run of the mill news story. Maybe her experience will teach her how to deal before she is my age.

Buddha on PBS

All things and I awaken together.

This moment seen directly, there is nowhere else than here, the only gate is now, the only doorway is your own body and mind. Nirvana = the quality of this moment.

Time Pie

In general, spring is my least favorite time of the year. The ground is still squishy and it could snow or rain at any minute. True, the birds are singing again, the rabbits are chomping on the clovers and the sun is out later making the days seem longer but it all feels like a tease. Spring can be summed up like this: the days warm up enough to trick me into wearing flip flops but by the end of it my feet are freezing!

This year after the snowbanks finally melted I feel like the change of seasons has been a real awakening. Compared to last year, I'm trying to make time stand still and savor every moment of the spring season. I even looked up the definition of the spring solstice on Wikipedia; it was way too wordy and technical for me to get anything out of it. I guess I should have known that Wikipedia is not the place to look when one is trying to define a feeling. I am constantly going back and forth in time looking at what I did before and after 5/14/09. I then compare it to the same day, month, hour, even minute the next time around. I inevitably feel more sentimental about my experiences; I even mourn slightly for the melting snow which means winter has ended. That season and moment is gone and I wonder what it means to now view my life in these pie-shaped pieces of time.

... !!!

Total and complete frustration bordering on exhaustion...

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Total and complete joy bordering on exuberance!!!

Does that require 3 exclamation points you ask {D&B}?

Yes, yes it does. Our girl walked today!!! 3 more - in your face Grammarians